Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
