You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
