He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
