Are we in a gay sports bar?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
