I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
