STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
