the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
