as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
