Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
