guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
