just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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