so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
