Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
