Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
