my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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