I smell stomach acid.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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