I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
