I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
