that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
