my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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