Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
