sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
