What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
