how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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