Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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