We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
