i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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