It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
