no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
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