discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
