I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
