He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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