It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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