stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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