It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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