Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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