just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
