I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
