awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
