Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I want a musical about memes.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
