I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
