just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
