you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
