the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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