This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
