There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
