Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
