i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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