just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This can only be settled by a dance off.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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