Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Pants are for mortals
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
