come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize