also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
